Lord Sholto Douglas - E Clampus Vitus Chapter #3
The 43rd Annual Bean Feed and Hawkers' Faire
đ Date: Feb 8, 6030 (2025)
đ Location: [Insert Event Location]
đ° Cost: $35
Brothers, gather âround and prepare for an event so monumental, so flavorful, and so profoundly absurd that it could only come from the hallowed halls of the Lord Sholto Douglas #3 Chapter of E Clampus Vitus. This yearâs Great Bean Feed promises to be a culinary triumph, paying homage to the chapterâs namesake while fortifying our spirits (and our bellies) with history, humor, and a healthy heap of beans.
Under the benevolent leadership of Budman Also, Noble Grand Humbug Extraordinaire, the Lord Sholto Douglas #3 Chapter has outdone itself, crafting a celebration worthy of the greatest Clampersâand the hungriest jackassesâof all time.
What Awaits:
Beans Beyond Compare
Simmered to perfection in kettles the size of a minerâs ambition, some of these beans are said to be seasoned with a secret spice blend, whispered to Joe Zumwalt by a ghostly prospector while visiting a forgotten Clamper plaque.Epic Accompaniments
From slabs of cornbread thicker than a Clamperâs wallet after payday to sausages that have been declared historically significant in their own right, no plate shall be left empty.Raucous Revelry
Expect tall tales, hearty laughter, and perhaps a spontaneous reenactment of the Double Reverse Jackass Salute, should the crowd be deemed worthy.So grab your red shirts, polish your black hats, and prepare for an event that will go down in Clamper history as one of the finest displays of fraternal absurdity. Long live the Lord Sholto Douglas #3 Chapter, and long may our beans simmer!
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Mission Statement
From the rugged peaks to the dust-choked valleys of the American West, Lord Sholto Douglas, Chapter #3 of E Clampus Vitus, stands as a steadfast guardian of historyâs untamed spirit. We are the keepers of legends, the heralds of forgotten pioneers, and the champions of community, bound by an unyielding brotherhood forged in the fires of camaraderie and absurdity. With reverence for the past and an eye on the future, we preserve the myths and truths of those who dared to dream, toil, and endure. We are more than a chapterâwe are a beacon of fellowship and brotherhood, fueled by wit, wisdom, and an undying love of the magnificent legacy of the West.
